“She held on to the new life inside her.” ~Jennifer
I’ve been holding on to a big secret. I didn’t particularly want to conceal anything, but I felt like I needed to. That got me thinking: why do people feel compelled to hide important news or essential parts of themselves? What makes us want to keep something secret? For me, the reason typically boils down to either fear or protection. I worry that something I love will be taken away from me. Or, I get scared that sharing my good fortune will hurt someone else…perhaps even cause jealousy. I haven’t made these scenarios up; they’ve happened to me in the past. Keeping this in mind, I’m showing up here today to reveal some beautiful news: I’m pregnant!
In January, I approached the new year ready to create. (That basket of fruit in my hand was no coincidence). In February, I envisioned a positive outcome. In March, I aspired to look life in the eye (even though I wanted to bury my head in a pillow). I can finally admit that hormones and morning sickness were making everyday life seem overwhelming at that point. Now, in April, I’m happy to announce that what I’m holding on to is a precious new life. I’m currently in my second trimester, due to deliver in October.
Pregnancy is a miracle. It’s also a wake-up call, summoning an even greater need for self-care. I’m trying to be gentle with myself both physically and emotionally. I’m listening to my body and doing what it asks. I’m also becoming a bit more conscious of ways I’ve been hiding the goodness in my life. I want to cultivate the courage to share it with others. Above all, I want to be an example so my children grow up and shine, rather than dim their own light.