She accepted ~ Deb

she accepted
“She accepted the weathering changes of her new life chapter, to make space for grace.” ~Deb 
 
The fence line behind my home is being updated and repaired by my neighbor.
He apologizes for the eye sore.
I welcome it as a metaphor.
My life. My body. My relationships.
I relate my current life changes with the weathering wood in need of a new paint job.
 
Time has a way of weathering us.
Whether we want it or not, the decay begins to eat us up. 

Yet it is our choice to defy how it will affect us.
I have decided to make space for grace.
But this does not come easily.
Anger and resentment are to be dealt with.
Sadness and suffering have their place.
Forgiveness and gratitude are necessary. 
 
Of all the definitions and understandings of this word “grace,” I have chosen to become a student of the following…
“ease and suppleness of movement or bearing; the quality or state of being considerate or thoughtful.”
 
This is my truth.
As I continue to reinvent my life, the external challenges are beginning to wear me down.
I am 55, with a body becoming squishy and less toned.
My parents are aging at a speed I wish could slow down.
The relationship with a sibling is broken.
 
This is my hope.
I will continue to invest in a healthy exercise and eating regimen.
I will continue to nurture the aging process of my parent’s existence.
I will continue to hope the phone rings someday from that bitter sibling.
 
For now, all I can do is embrace grace…
and her lessons that she has to teach me.

45 Comments

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45 Responses to She accepted ~ Deb

  1. simply beautiful…you photo, deb – your words, and your honesty.

  2. oh, Deb….yes, grace….and an appreciation of the wabi sabi nature of life….sending love…K

  3. I can relate to so much that you’ve written here Deb…this post is beautiful…

  4. Karen Ririe

    Words so true! You inspire all of us! Can so relate -at 61 I see light not cloudy. Amazing “open to grace” fri rescued a puppy from shelter–named her Grace.

  5. making space for grace…this is so good.
    loving you for your gentle courage, the way you explore it within your personal life and the way you share it with the wider community.
    love to you.

  6. God has a way of bringing to you what you need. He did just that in bringing your words to my eyes this morning. We are headed to Galveston to say good bye to my parent’s beach house that my siblings and I have kept in memory of them. The time has come to let it go. There have been many wounds caused with my sisters in the five years that we’ve kept it and many more with the decision to let it go. I can relate to your beuatiful words. They have helped me on this bittersweet morning and with my heavy heart. Miss and love you girl!

    • Dear Sweet Paige,
      With all your might…find some grace. Make space for it.
      It is the only way we will get thru this.
      I feel your pain.
      I know it.
      Letting go of the holding on is the hardest thing we ever do, but it does set us free.
      I am holding you and all the family in my heart.
      And we miss you too…and all our extended family in Round Top.

  7. Sooz Weissberg

    Inspiration for us all. I’m right there with you on all counts. I’ve been saying many of these things to myself every day.

  8. I love this! It was the perfect start to my morning. <3

  9. i have never loved you as much as i do right now. aging becomes you. reinvention becomes you.

    just this very week, my arms seemed old, and quick on the heels of my sigh at such a thing, i thought to myself, well, why isn’t that alright? they are older. i am older. i am heavier. i will do my best, take care of myself, but life moves forward. i am hoping to do so also – with grace. perfectly imperfect. not always easy, often hard beyond hard. but with grace. yes. that helps.

    • oh Deb…..I just wanna run back to the beach with with you and NOT do a cartwheel….
      well, OK, I would do it again only if you shot the picture !!!
      Those days will be gone someday soon…..!!
      Much love.
      Thanks for stopping by here.

  10. Deb, I always love your self portrait photos, they so reflect grace to me! The grace of someone who embraces life openly!! I lost my mom after a long illness just a few months before I turned 50, she aged so rapidly in her illness. It made me so hyper aware of my own aging after that…when I would see pics of you, I would think to myself…”it is going to be ok, she is doing cartwheels on the beach and jumps in the air!” You made me have hope, and again today, with your wise words and photo….I find not only hope, courage, but grace. Something to embrace, thank you so very much!!! Hugs to you!!! and honestly, you look so much younger than you are!!!!!!! And so full of life!

    • Sandra,
      I still cartwheel and jump and twirl like crazy…but sometimes I must visit the chiropractor and get massage to get back in balance!!
      Thank you for stopping by and offering your words of witness!
      It is going to be OK.
      With or without cartwheels !!!
      Embrace the grace!
      Hope, courage, love and light!

  11. Deb,
    Just beautiful. I can feel the grace emanating from you in that picture. Looking ahead while keeping grounded in all that you are and doing it with mindfulness.

  12. Kerrie

    Brilliant post Deb – the photo (always love your photos) and most of all the words. I am at the same life stage as you and can relate to all that you’ve written here. Thankyou you for showing me the way to embrace grace.

  13. Beautiful Deb! It was comforting to read the similarities especially of the sibling which has been quite difficult for me. Thanks for sharing yourself!

    • Hi Becky!
      Thank you for showing up.
      It is so hard..that sibling thing.
      I can only continue to make space for grace.
      It is all I have to do.
      I tried everything else.

  14. Lynne B

    This resonates deeply with me. Your words beautifully portray your present journey, one of which I truly understand. Thank you for sharing such wisdom with openness and gratitude. You have blessed my soul.

  15. Your words seems to be drawn right out of my thoughts – I also turned 55 this year and feel betrayed by the aging process….your words of wisdom help me accept! You bring sunshine :) Thank you! :)

    • Connie,

      This is so hard, right?
      But we can make it easier….
      Let’s just make some space for grace, and start the process of acceptance!
      Thank you for stopping by here and leaving such a kind note.

  16. really lovely and how we should all aspire to live
    live gracefully…age gracefully…forgive gracefully.
    although I sometimes want to kick and scream the aging process away….it will not go away, so I must accept that it is happening and just keep smiling through it.
    and hope that with the aging, will come some wisdom.

  17. You have been such an inspiration to me. Your words here are beautiful and I hold space with you as you embrace the lessons grace offers you. Sending you good thoughts today.

  18. deb, i have followed you for years now….you always share your truth…i admire this about you…you always share your beauty, i see the courage in you to do this, and you are deb that i only know through your words and photos , and have come to only have love for.
    xo katy

  19. Deborah Abram

    Deb
    That is so beautiful. I can relate totally. I too am 55. lots of changes going on. We are Juicy Tomatoes(there is a couple of books named this) and we are ripe and full of juice yet. You look powerful and beautiful in this picture!! Wowee
    Love ya
    Deborah

  20. you inspire me. simply.
    I am 49.
    I have spent the last two years feeling a little bit frantic at “growing older” and “running out of time”.
    Two years that feel a little bit wasted.
    I have many years left and yes, different years but good years.
    I want to live them well.

  21. Thank you for your open hearted honesty and grace dear Deb… so wise and beautiful you are.

  22. I cannot relate you to that fence. You do not need repair. You are lovely and full of grace. Your spirit peeks through in your words. I send you hugs and wish you magical love.

  23. Lorraine

    For whatever reason I came across your post today and it so sweetly spoke of that which I feel in so many ways. As I turn 52, I watch the changes in me physically, emotionally and spiritually. I am trying to embrace these changes, which isn’t always easy, but resisting them is pointless. I have chosen to grow old graciously and focus on the beauty of who I am on the inside. Life is a precious gift!

  24. kelli may-krenz

    your words speak to me on so many many levels. this is beautifully thoughtful and carefully crafted. sometimes it is good to be above yourself like a giraffe looking at you you you = take a good real look. you might enjoy what you see most. i am going to personal message you about this one. love to you girlie. beautiful post love love love

  25. you write beautifully. you touch life with respect and noticing. you inspire. you create. you are beautiful. you give. you get. you stitch. you paint. you laugh. you cry and at the end of each day you are the definition my friend of GRACE. so much love gushing. beautiful post Deb.

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