“She is ready to lighten up.” ~Jennifer
I tend to take life too seriously, allowing myself to get wrapped up in duties and swept away by tasks. Since becoming a mother, my days revolve around my children’s needs. I think about practical matters like food, clothing, safety. I take care of transportation, activities, and payments due. But in the process of caring for my little ones, somehow I end up distilling life to absolutes. I catch myself thinking in black and white. We’re on time or we’re late. I’ve succeeded or I’ve failed. The answer is yes or no. Clean or dirty. Off or on. Right or wrong.
Gone are the in-betweens, the grace periods, the grey areas. Where did they go, I wonder? As best I can tell, they keep getting bumped aside by responsibilities. Life is still sweet, silly, rewarding, and exciting, but the colors fade from time to time. That’s when I know I need to lighten up. And so, when my husband invited me out to the garden, I set the dirty dishes aside. It was perhaps the hottest day of the summer, above 90 degrees Fahrenheit. It took me a moment to forget about the messes, the baby monitor, the sweat running down my back. Then I was drawn in by the vivid pinks and purples of the cosmos that my husband plants for me each year. They’ve been there all summer. I just hadn’t been paying attention because I was weighed down by everything I thought I should be doing. Enough of that. I’m ready to lighten up and enjoy the bright spots of this path I’m on.