“When she noticed life as it was happening.” ~Bella
I am entering this season of warmth and light with a new sense of clarity. Friends, it feels refreshing. It is a very soft landing after months of internal disorder.
What is different about now? So much. My senses have come back to life and my nerve endings tingle with admiration, anticipation, and enthusiasm for even the most mundane experiences. I greet everything / everyone that comes into my orbit as if it were our first time meeting. I’m noticing life as it is happening around me, and oh is it ever exhilarating.
I live in the suburbs of New York City, the biggest and brightest city in the world. It is easy for me to hop in the car or to catch a bus and a short 20 minutes later, I’m in Manhattan. The city pulses with life and excitement. With that much energy flowing so close to home, it is a joy for me to visit once or twice a month for no reason at all except to roam and explore different neighborhoods.
Recently I shared with a friend how I love to visit the city. This friend lives closer to the city than I do but confided in me that he doesn’t ever go because he is not familiar with the streets or how to get from one place to another. I thought about that for a while. I thought about how I need those doses of energy that city life gives me to balance the peace I experience from living in suburbia. I thought about how every one of my senses comes life by inserting myself into a new place and how good that is for my soul. I thought about how stimulating the senses helps me stay aware and mindful of the world around me.
And then I made a connection. If I were to live inside of fear, I would lose my sense of wonder and curiosity. Fear is a huge inhibitor. It paralyzes and stifles. I understand that we all live with fear on different levels and truly, I am still stunted in areas because of fear. (I’m working on it). I also view it as an invisible barrier and once we break through it, we level up to our next opportunity to greet life in a whole new way.
For a very long time I allowed grief to swallow me up and consume all of my thoughts. I prolonged a dalliance with pharmaceuticals because they masked and dulled all of the feelings. That was fear. I found the courage to work through those feelings and the end result has been clarity, wonder, and curiosity for all the experiences. Now, I am living and noticing every detail of my everyday. It is a practice in presence. It keeps me thirsty for so much more.
P.S. If you feel like awakening your senses is what you need most right now, join me this July for The Holy Hush where we will explore self care through journaling, meditation, photography, and sensual rituals. You can read more here: creativesensual.com