Category Archives: She allowed

She allowed ~ Deb

she allowed...
“She allowed herself to step into the space of her whole being, exposing both rusty edges and shiny bits.” ~Deb

I have been accused of living my life thru rose-colored glasses, just like Pollyanna…
“…living life with unduly cheerful, optimistic, or favorable view of things.”

In fact, I have been ridiculed and insulted by some, saying that I do not live in a realistic world.

So what?
Is that really a bad thing?
I actually find it to be in my favor to adopt this optimistic way of life.

I see silver linings in clouds and lights at the end of dark tunnels.
And yep, my glass is always half full.

So what?

Occasionally I stumble and my vision becomes skewed.
It is inside those times that I have the opportunity to experience the intense pain of heartbreak and disappointment.
I learn and grow, forgive and let go.

I have learned that exposing my salty, rusty edges is equally as important as showing the shiny, cheerful bits of my life.
And here at She is Three, I continue to unravel the layers of my entire being, as I share all of my story with you.

My photo above represents the tangible feeling of leaping from the crusty, harsh surfaces of coral rocks and stepping back into the smooth, cool waters of peace and harmony.

This is my choice.
I allow myself to become whole.

 

On behalf of She is Three, Jennifer is offering a giveaway for one space in my upcoming Mish Mash e-course which beings on September 1st. 
For a chance to win, all you have to do is comment below!
I would love to show up inside your inbox every day in September. 
Here’s a sneak peek of what we will be doing!

Enter your comment by 9am Eastern time on August 30th to be included in the drawing.
The winner will be chosen at random and announced here in this post at noon that same day!

UPDATE:

Jennifer’s daughter has chosen the random winner’s name out of a jar!  The lucky lady who has won a spot in Mish Mash is MARGARET!  Check your email for a message from She is Three!

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She allowed ~ Jennifer

She allowed the warm light to embrace her
“She allowed the warm light to embrace her.” ~Jennifer

I got up around 6:00 the morning I took this photo. My body really wanted to sleep, but my soul needed some time alone outside to bask in the golden light of summer. I never used to be a morning person, but I now find the early hours of the day to be quite sacred. There’s nothing like being the only one awake in a quiet house as the first rays of sunshine find their way through the windows. Heading outdoors just as the dew starts to evaporate and the birds begin flitting about is a rare occasion that I treasure as well.

Although pregnancy is an amazing gift in and of itself, I don’t seem to enjoy the glory or glow of it that so many women describe. This summer has felt like more of a sojourn to a dark swamp than a bright and beautiful season. I hesitate to admit all of this because I don’t want to sound ungrateful. I know I’m lucky to be forty and healthy and pregnant. Extremely lucky. I also know that these hormone levels are overwhelming. I am a sensitive person, yes. In addition to that, impending childbirth seems to reconnect me to a very tender part of myself where the pain of losing my mother resides. Having my daughter in 2011 made me miss my mom even more. Expecting for the second time is proving to be a similar experience. The fourteen year anniversary of her death is just a couple weeks away. Labor Day, of all days. There is still a darkness caused by her loss, but there are also moments I happen to catch glimpses of my mom in my life. Sometimes they’re in the mirror; a quick glance as I brush the hair out of my face or grab the toothpaste from the cabinet. I see her in me: the exhausted mommy who just wants to do a good job. Other times, I recognize her in the face of my daughter, particularly the bow of her lips. I also sense her when I’m outside, surrounded by Queen Anne’s Lace. For some people it’s a weed, but for me it’s her wildflower namesake.  And even though my hair is dark, there are fleeting moments when the sun hits it just right so the strands burn with the same fire as my mom’s red hair. She’s not here in the flesh anymore, but I know her energy is still around, especially when I allow the warm light to embrace me.

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She allowed ~ Bella

she allowed
“She allowed herself the space to believe in her beauty and strength.” ~Bella

“You look beautiful in that dress.”

Those words, or some form of them, were repeated by every woman I encountered while wearing the soft cotton, body hugging, strapless beach dress.

The dress was a daring and bold “look at me” tie-dye color I normally stay away from. When I eyed it on the rack at the store, the first thing I did was feel the material. It was the type of cotton that slipped through my fingers. Thinking it would make for a perfect beach cover up, I took it into the dressing room and tried it on. It fit perfectly like second skin.

Most would consider this situation a win, but I stood there looking at myself for a long time analyzing every reason why I shouldn’t buy this dress.

“You will be welcoming eyes your way when you wear this, you know.”

This was my main worry; that people would look at me. My bust and curves would be right there on display for everyone to stare at and pick apart.

But I couldn’t help that the dress made me feel light and free, like I was floating on a cloud.

I’m 38 years old and I’m tired of the conversations I’m having with myself about how I look or what I should and shouldn’t be wearing.

The (soul) work I’ve been doing for the last five years has taught me that these voices don’t ever truly go away. It takes some major suiting up, as if I was going into combat to silence them. My weapon of choice: kindness.

Kindness. This is what the women in my life have bestowed on me. They look directly into my eyes and tell me I am beautiful in this dress.

I’m beautiful? Me? I don’t look too busty? This color, it’s not too much?

Silence.

“Thank you” I say, and I beam because they’re not talking about the dress and I believe them.

On this day, sitting on this beach, I felt an inner strength I had not known before. It radiated through me, and I knew in that moment that something had shifted in the way I see myself.

I allow myself the space to believe, down to my core, that I am worthy of their kindness and that I need to extend that same luxury to myself.

I didn’t buy the dress because I loved it.

I bought it because I feel beautiful when I wear it.

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She allowed

She allowed
Pictured from left to right:

“She allowed herself the space to believe in her beauty and strength.” ~Bella
“She allowed the warm light to embrace her.” ~Jennifer
“She allowed herself to step into the space of her whole being, exposing both rusty edges and shiny bits.” ~Deb

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Filed under She allowed, Triptych, Uncategorized